


Beer and Popcorn Chicken

by Missy



Category: Burn Notice, Reno: 911!
Genre: Accidental Relationship, F/M, First Date, Humor, Surveillance, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 04:19:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Clementine go out on a first date together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beer and Popcorn Chicken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Karmageddon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karmageddon/gifts).



“So-how-would-you-like-to-go-on-a-real-date?” Sam asks, pausing between strokes. Any other, more mortal man would find it difficult to speak with a gorgeous, naked, top-heavy blonde grinding away on top of them, but a lifetime of sexpionage had honed his staying power to a fine art.

She isn’t making it easy on him. Clementine strokes his hairy belly, her thumb caressing a nipple just to see him squirm. “Like what? A couple of drinks down in the lounge before we go screw?”

Sam reaches up to cup her breasts, thumbing each pink nipple until she deliberately flexes herself around him. His tone grows strained. “No, a real date.” She groans and he overrides her angst by lurching upward, burying his face between her breasts. “C’mon, Clem, picture it –I’ll pick you up in a monkey suit, and we’ll go have real food, a nice fancy table looking out over the ocean. We’ll have a violin player. Then I’ll take you slow dancing.”

She bites her lip, moaning, “really? Are you really serious?”

Sam tilts his head back, cupping the back of her head and forcing her to meet his eyes. “Clementine Johnson, will you date me AND sleep with me?”

She grins. “Hell. Yes.” 

In their earpieces, two different sets of voices shriek in horror, but, as they seal their deal with a kiss, the Reno Sheriff’s department and the CIA aren’t part of the deal any more.

***  
She arrives early for their date, looking like Diamond Dave’s most ardent wet dream come to life. Under a cloud of White Diamonds, Sam smells her nervousness as they talk bluntly about their pasts, eating popcorn chicken and shrimp cocktail in a swanky little joint on President’s Street. They dance cheek to cheek, but after a few spins around the floor, Sam notices that Clem’s attention has drifted from his face and lighted heavily on a TV set mounted over the bar.

He grins and scoots over so they can slug beer and watch the Heat annihilate the Celtics together.

An hour later, she’s riding him in the driver’s seat of his third-hand Ford Fairlane. 

“Oh shit,” Clem whines, her stockings rasping against his hips as she strokes herself to an orgasm. “I love you so much.”

“Oh shit,” Sam echoes as he comes instantly, as if commanded by her confession.

“Oh shit,” gasps Fiona in his ear, followed by the unmistakable sound of popcorn being munched.

“Ohhh shit,” Junior gasps in Clem’s ear, followed by the muffled question, “who had bangin’ in front seat of the Fairlane in the pool?”

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains characters from **Burn Notice** and **Reno911!**. The author has no legal claim upon these characters, and this fiction is a work of fannish tribute, from which no money was made.


End file.
